Ch-ch-ch-changes....dealing with change the Lazy Way

Our world is transforming and if we are lucky we are transforming too, moving forward to more peaceful, loving and happy lives. 

I had a rough couple of days being berated by feelings of betrayal.  "Was it all a lie?" was my mantra-like response to unveiling lies that had been told to me during my relationship of two years.  I wanted to sift through every memory and deem it "truth" or "lie" like I was on my own little game show. 

Last night, though, I had the pleasure of listening to the recording of Marianne Williamson's talk from Monday night: http://bit.ly/l8lfyi.  Marianne speaks every Monday in Los Angeles, and I always miss it.  But, we are all blessed because she records it.  This Monday the talk was about our external and internal reactions to the Osama Bin Laden news.  I highly recommend the talk, especially if you are struggling or wrestling in any way with the news. 

But, it's also applicable if you have anything like a "war" going on in your own life.  For instance, the war I'm having in my heart with my ex is not a pretty one.  I am my own terrorist in the dangerous neighborhood called "my head!" 

Two amazing quotes I gleaned from her talk were promptly typed up and posted on my wall as a reminder.  I put some pretty graphics on them to make them easy on the eyes -- actually pretty enough to draw me into them.  Here are the divine quotes I am clinging to now, which I share with you, thanks to the Divine Miss Marianne...if not solace today, perhaps you can use them in the future or send them to someone in pain, in the midst of their own battle:

God, lift me above the battle.

 

My job is to see beyond this illusion. 

I can seek to dwell in love.

Wo ho ho! I feel like a Woman! (thank you Shania Twain)

"Every death is a wake up call to live more fully, more presently right now."

Oprah Winfrey

Yet another synchronicity in my life.  Today, I felt like I took several steps back in my healing from the break-up with my boyfriend of two years.  The recurring theme of my day was "betrayal."  I remembered the gorgeous flower arrangement he sent to me whose card said very simply "Never doubt."  He always claimed he never wanted me to doubt his love, and that he had never had a single doubt that I was "the one" for him.  And, yet he was courting someone else when we were together.  The card maybe should have said "Always doubt me."  LOL!

I had a day littered with icky flashbacks to the time of the betrayal.  It was not a LAZY day.  Again, Lazy = less stress and more joy. 

But I just sad down to watch my taped Oprah from earlier today and lo' and behold it's an interview with Shania Twain who was betrayed by not only her husband, but her best friend.  That I don't actually understand surviving.  But, Oprah uttered the quote at the top of this post, and it's so true: every death -- and there is no doubt that the end of a relationship is a death -- is a WAKE-UP call to LIVE fully right now!

It's funny.  I always have live flowers all over the house, but since the break-up I have even more....three bouquets in my bedroom alone almost always, and literally every room has at least one bouquet.  Life! Life! Life my soul is shouting.

But, when I slip into the past and run the old tapes with new revelations about lies that were said, I go back into the Death Zone.  That doesn't feel good.  And, honestly, my LIFE cannot afford it.  Back to the flowers, back to the love I do have in my life, back to POSSIBILITIES, back to the new body I've created for myself, back to the PRESENT.

The new anthem ringing in my head after the Oprah episode is Shania's breathtaking...

"I feeeeeeeeeeeeel like a WOOOOOOMAN!  Wo ho ho!!!!"



To Thine Own Princess Self Be True

Royal Wedding Day around the globe....One report says that 2 billion people watched.  That blows me away.  But what blows me away even more is that the newly wed Princess/Duchess/Future Queen was so wonderfully, beautifully in her own skin.  Never mind the gorgeous dress, her grace and beauty started so deep down.  She just seems to be someone who is to her own self very true. 

The good news is that when you are not true to yourself, you will get all kinds of signs to get you back on track....like I did today.  I came home late last night after three extremely hard and long days of a business trip where I had to keep my mind sharp and my spirit up and sociable from dawn each day until late at night -- with no downtime for myself.  I had no choice and had to push through it.  I pushed, but when I woke up this morning and was finally off the adrenaline rush that kept me going those three days, I nearly collapsed.  I think my brain literally turned the lights completely off in some of its rooms. 

So, what happened?  My body couldn't function.  I was trying to fix the little doggie barrier between the living room and my office that had clearly come down while I was away, and somehow this heavy metal thing with sharp edges went flying into me -- gouging my shin into a bloody swollen mess.  This jab caused me to fall flat on my face and land on top of said gouging gate -- but not before I had -- on the way down to flat on face --knocked my head very hard on the bottom corner of the half door (I have one of those split doors that leads from my office into the back yard).  The bump is huge and rose in a cartoon-like way, i.e., fast, colorful, and revealing stars.

I cleaned myself up and thought to myself "Maybe I should NOT go to the gym today since my brain's coordination quadrant is clearly down."  Sounds so reasonable.  But, later in the afternoon when I thought I was going to perish from exhaustion and knew I needed to get more done, my non-Princess self said  "I didn't get to work out more than 50 minutes total over 3 days!  I really need to get to the gym PLUS I know I'll feel better afterwards!"  The hope of feeling better got me.  So, I got myself together and got in the car to go to the gym.

Dead battery.

God speaks in mysterious languages.  Hit hard on head (as if with frying pan). Stabbed in leg to thwart movement.  Dead battery.

I actually knew my battery was going to be dead.  Some weird electronic quirk happened in my car so that two of the four screens in my car dashboard would not shut down when I turned the car off.  I tried everything I could for 45 minutes but had to give up, and submit to the fact that my car would be dead today.  Well, by late afternoon it was quite deadish. 

Ironically, or perhaps not so ironically, I had the car towed to my mechanic who could not replicate the issue.  It's like God literally made this flukey weird thing that has never happened before happen so I would not go to the gym today.

Suffice it to say I'll be resting all weekend.  To mine own self and body I shall be true. 

Lazy Ass Car Wash

Part of this will sound unlazy, like this part: at 6 a.m. tomorrow I'll be parking my car for three days at LAX, so why in hell would it matter that my car is rain-stained and icky looking?  It finally stopped threatening rain yesterday, Easter, so I thought I'll wait until I'm back and my car is good and filthy from having been at LAX for three days. 

But, I just literally couldn't bear it another minute.  In our book "The Lazy Woman's Guide to Just About Everything" we have a whole section on PROCRASTINATION, and in it we make a very important point -- if putting something off is causing you stress, then DO NOT PUT IT OFF -- make it a priority.  If it lessens the stress, then go for it, procrastinate the hell out of it!

In this case, even though I was waiting for the weather to shift before washing my car, like most of LA, it wasn't really me procrastinating, it was me not wanting to waste a shiny car at a parking lot! 

But, I got home from the gym, and was hot and sweaty, so I ran in the house, got a bucket full of clean rags, ran out, and sprayed a really hard jet spray on every inch of the car.  That took about 2.5 minutes -- seriously no more than 2.5 minutes.  I whipped around that car.

Then, I put a bunch of rags in each hand and whipped around the car two times, and dried every inch.  It literally looks like it was professionally washed and this whole process took no more than SIX MINUTES.

I call this a Lazy Woman Victory for Mankind.  And, I saved money which is also a Lazy Woman passion.  Why waste money.  This will definitely be my every-other-wash technique.  Every other, I'll have it done so they do the vacuuming, etc. for me -- something I have no interest in doing.  And, that too is Lazy -- I pick my cleaning battles.

Lazy Victory.  Yummmm.

Easter Inspiration

I was being particularly LAZY on Monday.  It was raining and I just didn't feel like driving.  Well, my loss.  I missed Marianne Williamson's amazing evening.  Luckily they taped it.  Lucky, lucky me...and you, if you find her as inspiring as I do:

http://www.marianne.com/passover-easter-audio.htm

May you be having a stress-free, love-filled holiday weekend.

Trina meet Tina -- This is my MIRACLE Day!

It's a wonderful day!  I knew it was going to be good because I woke up remembering my Tina Fey dream (see blog post below this one!), but I had no idea that today would be the day that my "Weight Goal Dress" would FIT!  I bought this Trina Turk lovely Spring dress in January to shrink into.  I had never been to Nordstrom Rack before and delightfully this gorgeous thing was sitting on the rack waiting for me at $19.97!

It's a Size 4, but I knew it was a big 4, more like a 6.  And, I knew that when I met my goal weight I'd fit into it, and today I thought "Hey, let's try that on!"

Thanks to Marianne WIlliamson's "A Course in Weight Loss" I actually know that I am actually not at my goal weight.  I'm at just two pounds past what previously was my "This is as good as it gets" weight.  I am still happily losing, and I'm doing it with lots of grace and ease -- again thanks to Marianne in major part!

Now, off to have a wonderful baked potato and salad, another delightful moment in my Tina/Trina Day of Miracles.

Tina Fey Helped Me Clean My Kitchen

Blessed I was to see Tina Fey and Steve Martin on Tuesday night.  Even though it was the Nokia Theatre at LA Live, because it was just the two of them having a chat on the stage, it felt like I was just watching them in my living room.  The friend I was with didn't want to stay for book signing so I didn't get to meet her.  I was a little sad about that, and Tina must have felt it because she came over for a cup of cocoa last night.

Yes, indeed, she came over for a cup of cocoa in my dream.  But, the coolest thing she did was reveal to me that all this cleaning I've been doing, organizing, getting rid of old stuff, clearing out of every nook and cranny....well, the kitchen cabinet that has the cocoa in it, Tina very sweetly pointed out, was in need of cleaning and organizing. 

So, as soon as I could this morning I opened that cabinet, and took care of it.  She also pointed out -- when in search of something to go with the cocoa -- that there were two other kitchen cabinets that could use my attention.  So, those I'll be handling this evening.

I'm so lucky to have a "dream friend" like Tina Fey to have a late night cocoa with, and to just have that kind of relationship where when she points out my flaws she does it with such love and support.  Tina only wants the best for me!

And, what am I always saying as one of my Lazy Woman anthems -- get help!  Enlist support wherever and whenever you can. Or swap support.  I'm expecting a "dream call for support" from Tina any night now.  I'll probably end up babysitting...not my fave, but anything for a "dream friend."

Spring Cleaning = Jewels Uncovered

I am thrilled by my instincts at the end of this relationship. I am cleaning out the old, getting rid of the past that no longer serves me.  Clothes that I haven't worn in ages, that don't fit, that I know I will never wear again -- it all goes!  Everything that doesn't work -- it's out!  Every closet, every corner of the garage, every cabinet. 

I'm cleaning and clearing to invite new, vibrant, loving, beautiful energy --- and a man -- to come in.  In clearing out the clutter, fluff and excess I am uncovering jewels of many sorts-- pieces of clothing that I adore that I forgot about (what a clear sign of having too much, eh?) -- and books like the Rumi book I re-found.   Another gem of a book unveiled was one I read in the early 90's - Harville Hendrix's "Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples." 

I know, I know, I'm not in a couple anymore, but man this is one bad ass book.  I re-read half of it very quickly this weekend.  It all started flooding back.  I highly recommend it to anyone who has ever struggled in a relationship.  And, honestly, who hasn't ever had a struggle, eh?  

What I get from this book every time I read it is the reminder that I grow so much more as a  person when I am in relationship.  Relationships are the grains of sand to my pearl....polishing me, making me better, looking deeper, doing better, being better.  Relationships are God's offering to us to heal more deeply than, well, just about anything else. 

And, when both people are willing to look at their childhood wounds, they each have the most extraordinary opportunity to pour love on each other's wounds --yes, it stings, sometimes it hurts deeply, but in the end it is soothing, nurturing and heart-opening. 
Harville quotes Jung who said it so eloquently:  "Seldom or never does a marriage develop into an individual relationship smoothly without crisis.  There is no birth of consciousness without pain."  But on the other side of the pain is unbelievable freedom and the deepest, most fulfilling love. 

The key is both people have to want to look at the cages the past has built to get to the freedom.  Huge honkin' key. 

So, I'm on the road to taking down the cages around my own heart, so I can draw that guy in who has taken down his cages.

It's a brave new world...sparkling with jewels.

Lazily Dealing with the Death of a Relationship

I have been recently committed to clearing out the old to make room for new abundant, loving energy to sweep into my life.   One of my projects is my garage.  Today, the task at hand was to go through about 20 boxes of books, with the intention of donating most of them to the local library.  It's LIBRARY WEEK so I think most local libraries are accepting donations for the next few weeks. 

One of the divine books that I found that I will be keeping is a book of Rumi poems.  I'm keeping all my Rumi books, and I'm delighted to have refound them to bring them in the house.  I sat down with one for a few minutes because there is nothing more nourishing to me during a breakup than Rumi.  And, since I just found out that the betrayal that caused my breakup was even more profound than I had imagined, I was drinking this Rumi in like it was a magic elixir.  And it was.

During this breakup I have been having pretty regular messages from my dad who passed away a year and a half ago. I feel like he is holding my hand walking me through healing my heart, preparing me for the biggest, greatest love of my life -- a man who will hold my heart and my love and cherish it.  I know my dad is getting him ready to bring to me. 

So, this poem I found spoke to me on many levels today - the death of my father and my relationship.   If you -- or anyone you know -- is dealing with a death of a person, a relationship...you may want to share this with them.  And, isn't it something that it is titled "911"...

911

Rumi - Translated by Coleman Barks

On the day I die, when I'm being

carried toward the grave, don't weep.

Don't say "He's gone! He's gone!"

Death has nothing to do with going away.

The sun sets and the moon sets,

but they're not gone.  Death

is a coming together.

The tomb looks like a prison.

but it's really release

into Union.

The human seed goes down in the ground

like a bucket into the well where Joseph is.

It grows and comes up full

of some unimagined beauty.

Your mouth closes here

and immediately opens

with a shout of joy there.

Lazy Yummies + Lazy Losing = WWgasm Bliss!

Just weighed in and I'm down 15.2 pounds!!!!!!!!!!  Woooohooooo!  I'm particularly excited because I'm not eating my feelings through my heartbreaking break-up (two breaks in one sentence! OY!). 

But, I'm even more excited because I am literally feeling no denial.  First, because of Marianne Williamson's "Course in Weight Loss" I have truly reconfigured my relationship with food.  I don't go to it for comfort anymore.  Once in a while I get a chocolate craving, and I ask myself what's going on, and let myself have it -- no matter what's going on.  If I want it, I want it.  But, I only have a little bit and I'm completely satiated. 

I'm really taking care of my cravings.  The other day while at Pilates class, I smelled what I thought were freshly grilling pancakes.  I remembered there was a Weight Watchers recipe for Pumpkin Pancakes that looked awesome, but I couldn't find the recipe online on the way to Trader Joe's, so I picked up their Multigrain Pancake Mix. It turns out two five inch pancakes are only 4 points.  Oh joy!  Oh joy!

I took out the Trader Joe's Superfruit All Fruit Preserves, put one tablespoon on a plate, put it in the microwave and it makes a wonderful syrup.  So two pancakes with "syrup" is only 5 points.  I made a regular batch and used it over 3 days to make my pancake treats.  

If you don't take care of your cravings and find alternatives for yourself, you won't stick to it.   That's EXACTLY what the Hungry Girl says too.  She has come up with 100's of recipes for comfort foods, snack foods, YUM foods galore that are weight-LOSS friendly while making you feel very full and satisfied. 

Again -- if you are on a weight loss journey -- run, walk, skip to a bookstore or toodle your fingers over to amazon.com to get one of the Hungry Girl books.  Her website: hungry-girl.com.

WE CAN DO IT!!!!

Weight Watcher Foodies ALERT: "Hungry Girl 300 Under 300" is here!

Hear Ye Foodies! Hear Ye Weight Watchers Peeps!   Run, don't walk -- or perhaps walk briskly with weights in your hands -- to your nearest independent bookseller to buy yourself a copy of "Hungry Girl 300 Under 300."  (Or, move your fingers briskly to Amazon, but I always want to encourage everyone going to local bookstores first!)

I had the most delicious pleasure of meeting Hungry Girl Lisa Lillien who was signing her new cookbook -- top of the New York Times Bestseller List right out of the gate --"300 Under 300."  Lisa is delightful -- just like she appears on TV -- humble, sweet, and clearly loving her life spent inspiring women to enjoy scrumptious food while they lose weight.  Her cookbook is as light, fun and happy as she is in spirit. 

And, it's LAZY too -- really easy recipes, beautifully laid out so it's unbelievably easy to read and follow.  She has great tips, and cute little bits of inspiration dotting the pages.  It's laid out in such a way that your eye is drawn to read every little thing...like they are yummy candy jewels! 

It's so funny because I wasn't immediately drawn to this book since it's calorie counting, but it turns out that she has all the PointsPlus listed on her website for all her recipes.  Yippppeeeee!  Lisa actually partners with Weight Watchers, and blogs weekly on their site (never mind the fact that I never caught that!).  And, she even said at the book signing that she reveres WW more highly than other weight loss methods. 

My favorite thing about the lovely LIsa is she is a true foodie, who adores creating deliciousness in ever form, fulfilling all our greatest foodie dreams -- but with low cal alternatives.   She is a GENIUS! 

Check her out.  She loves you and all your crazy cravings and you will love her for fulfilling them!

Buon End-of-the Hungries Appetito to you!

Lazy Garage Clean-Up = Ask for Support!

I had a fairly miraculous day.  After break-ups, one of the depressing factors for me is the struggle to regain my social bearings.  I spent all my free time with my love, who was also my buddy, my best friend.  So, I've been feeling sorry for myself lately.  Most of my friends are married, others busy with kids, and others, well we've just fallen out of regular social contact. 

While I enjoy spending time with "me" I also wanted to have some fun this weekend, but had no plans.  As if angels were listening to my prayers yesterday, this morning I got a call inviting me to a last minute Dim Sum feast - yummalicious even for this vegetarian!  And, then I got a call from a friend who also wanted some company.  I made her a late lunch and she helped me clean out my garage.   

I swear I have angels listening to me because I knew I was going to clean my garage today but I was wishing I had someone to just sit and keep me company while I did it.  I always recommend getting a buddy to just even sit with you (if they aren't the helping kind) and just be company for you when you are doing something tough, stressful, or sad.  It's just easier!! 

I was so grateful she was willing to sit with me!   But, she never sat down once: she kicked my Lazy Ass!  And her helpful mantras of the day were exclamations of "You do NOT need that!"  "You will NEVER use that again!" or "That's a NO!"  I made huge progress with her there, and it was really absolutely stress-free.  It was actually fun to laugh at myself and all the crap I have in there!

I am a lucky lazy girl!  I needed support and I got it.  Sometimes you just gotta ask!

Lazy Peace o' Mind -- With a Little Help from Nature

 I am thrilled.  I just heard that a friend of mine took the advice that I posted last week on this blog.  She started taking Ignatia Amara and feels really great.  She was having a tendency toward anxious thoughts.  Ignatia Amara is for that (like the repetitive negative thoughts I was having after my breakup) and for grief (like my losing a great love).  If you know of anyone dealing with repetitive anxious thoughts as a result of a situation that they happen to be in -- or perhaps in the case of my friend (and possibly myself as well) -- is perimenopausal or menopausal, where hormone changes incite brain chemistry changes -- please tell them about this:



 And, if they are dealing with the level of grief I was dealing with -- loss of any kind, depression, extreme sadness, etc. -- please tell them about Sweet Chestnut, which I give due credit as well.  The Sweet Chestnut is a flower essence.  It is gentle, safe, and yet powerful.  I can't more highly recommend it:

Please pass this blog on to anyone who may need some support during a difficult emotional time.  I promise you gratitude will be coming your way.  I have a friend who got divorced last year and both she and her son are still very depressed.  I think she'll be taking my advice soon, and I can't wait to report her findings as well.

And, FYI, my symptoms shifted within hours, and within 24 hours, I was back on track -- no more repetitive anxious thoughts, no more of the exhaustion that comes from depression.

Peace, peace, peace...there is just no substitute for peace of mind.  Finding it lazily, well, that's just divine peace.

Lazily Grow Your Business: "The Thank You Economy"

I just got home from the airport.  On the 3 hour plane ride I finished Gary Vanderchuk's "The Thank you Economy,"   I can't more highly recommend it to anyone who:

1) has a business
2) knows someone who has a business
3) might one day have a business
4) might one day meet someone who has a business

So, run -- don't walk -- to pick it up.  Or go to amazon -- I'll even give you the darned link: http://www.amazon.com/Thank-You-Economy-Gary-Vaynerchuk/dp/0061914185/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1301551821&sr=8-1

I read Gary's first book "Crush It" which I also couldn't recommend more highly, where I really got the message: social media is not just for personal fun, it's a force that must be reckoned with professionally.  I loved that book so much that I was dying to meet Gary when he came to KPCC/Drucker Family Forum last week.  What a thrill to meet this force of nature, and a true inspiration. 

When I stood in line to get my books signed, I watched him.  Most people were big fans like me.  But, I saw there were a few in the line had no idea who he was.   It was starting to irritate me when I saw that Gary was being just as I imagined he would be: GENEROUS.   It really appears like he tries to "give" something to each and every person he meets.  The woman right before me literally -- unbelievably -- seemed completely disconnected and uninterested, even though he was signing her book!  He tried engaging her, first with his eyes, then his body (leaning in), then his words.  Nothing:  she would not RECEIVE!   I love him for trying.  I really love him for trying.  He lives his life in a context of gratitude and generosity.

"The Thank You Economy" shows that every business -- from the local burger joint to dentists to corporate lawyers, and beyond -- needs to live in the context of gratitude.  The flow of life, money, and energy from customer to business -- and back again to customer -- is based on a genuine appreciation of the customer's needs and wishes. 

I am so inspired and have a new fire in my belly that was lit by the Vanderchuk torch!  I inherited by dad's business when he died a year and a half ago.  While I got in new management and worked on "righting" the ship, I was always very moved by the hearts of our customers, their undying loyalty to my dad, their sticking with us through thick and thin (i.e., when management didn't care about them).  I have been wanting to personally go up to Alaska and thank each and every one of our customers -- to give them ALL a hug!

As I read the book I came up with tons of ideas of how I am going to honor them, my staff...and my dad's legacy.  I am thrilled, and even though I've already had an 18 hour day, I am still full of vim and vigor!

I hope you feel it!...and pass it on!

It's What's for Dinner = It's What's in the Fridge

First, Full Court Press of yesterday is absolutely working.  The dark cloud that lifted last night appears to be nearly gone today due to the remedies I mentioned yesterday.  I suppose I need to give the whole plan credit, but I do think the remedies are due special thanks.

Just made yummalicious dinner that I wouldn't have made were I not leaving in the morning for a business trip.   I had a potato, tomatoes, portobello mushrooms, and chives.

Here's what I did to make it extra fulfilling, flavorful and Weight Watchers friendly too:

1.  Baked potato at 450 for about 30 minutes.
2.  After potato was in for 15 minutes, I chopped up the two big portobellos and two big tomatoes and tossed it all with Truffle Salt (Birthday present from friend, Karen!) and a teaspoon of olive oil.
3.  While that was finishing I chopped a bunch of fresh chives, got out a Tablespoon of butter and a couple Tablespoons of Trader Joe's Creamy Goat Cheese.
4.  When out of the oven, cut open the potato and throw on the butter, goat cheese and chives.  
5.  Scoop up all the roasted veggies and throw them on the prepared potato!

Buon appetito!

Lazily Dealing with Depression -- Full Court Press

Two weeks ago I broke up with my boyfriend in a way that we both understand that it wouldn't be good for us to talk until he figures some things out.  I may never speak to him again which is the sad reality that hit on my birthday a few days ago: no communication at all.  It was, I'm sure, a blessing that he didn't contact me because it's been unbearable to be separated.  But it still hurt like hell, particularly since I made his last birthday the birthday of a lifetime and had an absolute blast creating it for him.  When you love someone you love to celebrate them and give them as much joy as possible, eh?!   There is nothing like the effort your love will make to give you joy.

Cut to: last night. I slept 12 hours.  Unheard of!  I didn't "need" it...except, I guess my psyche did...endless dreams of him, his family, my old boyfriends, and endless painful scenarios.  When I woke up and saw the time, the "depression" word popped in, and I realized I am now in a full blown depression. 

So, I started my full court press to deal with this depression:

1.  To Do List.  I am making myself "do" things but I have to truly make myself. I write out lists: 1) read "Thank You Economy" (amazing book by the way! as was "Crush It" -- must read if you are in business of any kind!) for 15 minutes, 2) read "Spiritual Divorce" (another amazing book -- must read if you are going through a divorce or major break-up) for 15 minutes, 3) write thank you cards, etc. I gave myself smaller goals, but goals nonetheless because if they aren't on paper, I won't do anything, because I don't "feel like it"!2.  Whole Foods. I am blessed to have a Whole Foods that has incredibly knowledgable people working in the vitamin/supplement/herb section.  I found literally the perfect person to guide me to two things that truly are making a difference (and today I'm being diligent about regular doses):  Bach Flower Remedy Sweet Chestnut and Boiron's Homeopathic Remedy Ignatia Amara.  The first is for depression and the second for anxiety.  I told him I didn't feel at all anxious but I had just told him that I couldn't stop the negative thinking, so he actually was right on.  Regular doses are making a difference -- undeniably.


3.  Running. I started running again.  I have never stopped working out but ironically I had an achilles injury that stopped my running right about the same time the achilles heel of our relationship stopped our relationship.  I gave running a shot again today even though it's not 100% and I was absolutely fine.  And, the endorphines really helped.
4.  Friends.  I enlisted a few friends to call when I felt like calling my ex.  It happens a LOT so these friends...well let's say if I was really rich I'd probably buy them each a car.  I keep reaching out.  I think they all have confidence that I will get better since depression is something I don't normally deal with, but still I'm sure at some point I will owe them each a home in Tuscany.
5.  Doctor.  I happened to have a regular doctor's appointment on Friday and I asked her to write me a prescription for anti-depressants -- just in case I couldn't turn this all around naturally and with all the tricks and tools I have in my bag.  I can't imagine filling it, especially since I'm in Full Court Press mode BUT getting the prescription really was part of Full Court Press mode.  It's there if I need it. 
6.  Taking Responsibility.  There are things that I can work on for myself that were brought out by this break-up.  The more I take responsibility for me the better I feel, because "me" is something I can control and change. 

On the road to recovery, one moment at a time...

lazily yours,
b.

Lazy Exquisite Dining -- Hours of Deliciousness in Carmel

In 1993 I had a several course meal at a tiny fairy-lit, tree filled outdoor restaurant located on a cliff off a winding road outside of Naples, Italy.   At that time, it was what I considered the best meal of my life.  To this day I have not tasted a boccoccino (baby mozzarella...in their case probably as local as down the street) that would even vaguely rival what exploded in my mouth that night.  Unbelievable.  Every course was flawless and burgeoning with flavors I had never experienced before.  I had tasted food that "tried" to be this great, but my god, it was perfection.

I have had many truly great meals since because I have been very, very lucky.   A home-cooked meal in Morocco of roasted sardines and vegetables....right up there.

And, now, there is my new love, Casanova.  I was supremely blessed last weekend to have been taken to Casanova in Carmel (http://www.casanovarestaurant.com/).  We were in town for my friend's 50th birthday and her brother, sister and sister-in-law took us there as it is one of their favorite spots.   They know their food and they really know their wine, so they helped with their Casanova-expertise.

After the table was graced with perfect olives, tapenade, fresh baked crackers and breadsticks, they ordered Spinach Gnocchi as our first course.  They were literally the best gnocchi I have ever eaten.  I haven't even tasted anything in the same league before this.  They were soooooo light...like little pillows, and full of spinach flavor, swimming in a rich -- but not too heavy -- cheesy sauce.  

My next course was mussels in a just spicy enough wine and tomato sauce.  I've eaten a LOT of mussels and these were the best.  No kidding.  The best.  The french fries it came with were fried in some kinda yummy oil and sprinkled with course salt. 

No need for me to go on and on about the other photographs below...I didn't even photograph everything ordered for the table.  Each and every morsel was divine.  The desserts featured -- and I didn't even photograph my lemon tart because I was too busy eating it -- are Lavender Flan, Profiteroles and Mushroom (yes mushroom) Ice Cream.

The wine that our amazing hosts ordered with the help of the brilliant Sommelier were outrageous.  This was my favorite restaurant wine pairing experience ever.  This Sommelier is nothing short of inspired.

We were a large group and it was a joyous event, but they tout themselves as the most romantic restaurant in Carmel...and they really are.  It is an jewel of a spot for a romantic date.  I cannot wait to share this with a love...if you are ever in Carmel with a love, you must go.  It will probably catapult your relationship to new heights -- no matter how long you've been together!

And, if you aren't in a relationship, go anyway.  You will be impressed and will have fun.  The staff literally delights in serving each and every guest, creating an unforgettable celebration for every taste bud and soul that graces their gorgeous European country house in the middle of California! 

And, if you love Van Gogh, then you are even luckier as they have a room set aside in honor of a table they have from Van Gogh's home.  More magic.

Dealing with Loss the Lazy Way

Fighting all the uncomfortable emotions in life really doesn't work.  The majority of my life I just wanted to run away from sadness, anger, jealousy, etc.   When I'm sad especially, my M.O. is to judge the sadness, try to get rid of it.  My dad and a few great friends would say "It's OK to be sad, just let yourself be sad."  

This is one of the jewels I got from the Debbie Ford Shadow Process.  I'm not saying I'm expert at staying in the sadness, but I am finally seeing that "what you resist persists."  When I fight the darkness, it really does stick longer. 

And, I can also take action -- the Lazy Way -- not over-doing, over-exerting, just taking some actions that will make me feel better.  For instance, I'm going away today for 4 days.  I return the night of my birthday.  I am flying into LAX in time for what was going to be birthday dinner with my boyfriend.  So, I called a friend and set up that we will go out for chocolate layer cake instead.  And, so that I don't come back to a depressing house, I filled the house with flowers that will still be lovely when I return.  And, I got myself a huge new orchid plant that is gracing the table next to my front door.

But, some preparations cannot be done alone. I received my first birthday card yesterday which is literally the most perfect card for me.  It's adorable, makes me smile and laugh, and it has a dog on the cover that looks just like my dogs looked when they were babies.  So, when I come home that card will be right in front of me as I walk in the door. 

My dad always sent me flowers on my birthday, and showered me with love.  My boyfriend would have probably given me some as he did last year.  So, I covered the flower front.  And, my incredibly thoughtful friend covered the best card on the planet front, so that I will know I am loved no matter what the circmstances on my birthday when I walk in the door that night.

We are all loved no matter what.  Dealing with the loss of the love you WANT and can't have is hard, so one of the Lazy Ways to deal with it is focus on the love you HAVE right here, right now, and take some little action to remind yourself of what should be quite obvious.  

We are all very, very loved...no matter what.

Trader Joe's Tuesday (a wee bit late) - Roasted Veggie Dinners

I'm in the throes of the finality of a break-up right now so I'm running a little slow, a little ragged, a little behind.  I'm trying to deal with my grief in a lazy way, i.e., feeling it, not pushing it down like I normally do, or busying myself beyond belief so that I don't have time to feel.  So, it's just plain depressing time now.

But, since listening to Marianne Williamson's "A Course in Weight Loss" and also doing Debbie Ford's "Shadow Process Workshop" I am not eating my feelings or busying myself to get away from them.  In fact, instead of eating lots of chocolate through the grief, I find myself forgetting to eat and then being very weak.  And, I'm not particularly in the mood to cook, so I'm thankful more than ever to my Mecca, Trader Joe's.

In the veggie section there are wonderful bags of cut up vegetables that are super easy to steam in the microwave, but my favorite thing to do with them --  sweet potatoes, butternut squash, green beans, mushrooms, etc. -- is ROAST them.

So here's what you do:

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees.  Depending on the veggie you'll roast at this temperature for 15 to 30 minutes.
2. Throw the contents of the bag onto a cookie sheet.
3. Take 1 teaspoon of olive oil (yes, that truly is all you need!), drizzle it over the veggies and toss so coated.
4. Sprinkle with all your favorite herbs, salt, pepper, spices, etc.  Two of my favorites are Garlic Salt and Pico De Gallo:

For those of you doing Weight Watchers -- a big bowl of green beans is only ONE POINT -- the olive oil!   Sometimes I sprinkle fat free feta on top for a total of TWO POINTS!

Buon appetito!!!!!!!!!

Best Lunch on Planet -- Lazy Weight Watchers Version of a Rubio's Favorite

A couple months before I decided to finally stop my grieving-for-my-dad-eating-everything-I-feel-like-eating regimen, I discovered a new favorite at Rubio's.  I, like my dear friend Beanie, am a fiend for fish tacos and everywhere I go -- even the Kansas City Sheraton that I used to go to a few times a year -- I try fish tacos.

In Los Angeles, the best fast food fish taco -- for my tastebuds -- is found at Rubio's.  So, it took a lot for me to one day order something different.  I am mostly vegetarian but about once every couple weeks I have fish.  So, anything vegetarian will definitely catch my eye, so when I saw the sign for a Grilled Portobello and Poblano Soft Taco I simply had to try it.  It did not disappoint.  It was all kinds of gooey, crunchy, warm, yummy deliciousness, with just the right amount of kicky spice.

Today, I had a craving for it, and happened to have all the right ingredients -- except the poblano.  Next time I'm out I'm buying poblanos, but even without the poblanos, my healthy version of the Rubio's treat is DIVINE!

So, for the Healthy Portobello (and Poblano!) Quesadilla..here's what you do:

1.  Heat up your George Forman grill. 
2.  Throw on a portobello mushroom -- mine was really huge so I ripped it into a few pieces.  This is where you would also grill up the poblano.
3.  While it's cooking, chop up fresh herbs.  I used flat parsley and chives, but if you have cilantro so much the better!
4.  I made two quesadillas because I was hungry.  So, while still cooking the portobello/poblano, get out four small corn tortillas and one slice of cheese.  My favorite is Trader Joe's Jalapeno Yogurt Cheese.  Put 1/2 of a slice on each quesadilla.
5.  When the mushroom/poblano is done, take it off and chop up with the herbs. 
6.  Put quesadillas on for a minute or so to get them going.  Then add the mushroom/poblano/herb mixture.
7.  Cook until YOU say they are done.  I like mine crispy on the outside,  but you may prefer them soft.

8.  I whipped up a salad to have it with -- lettuce, tomato, 1/4 cup Lite Mexican cheeses (Trader Joe's), a couple tablespooons of salsa, juice from 1/2 lemon and 1 teaspoon of olive oil, salt and pepper. Toss it all together and serve with piping hot quesadillas. 
9.  If you like spicy, throw some salsa or hot sauce on the quesadilla at the end.

Buon Appetito!

Yet Another Lazy Treat at Trader Joe's ...and Lazy Lemons, to boot!

I remember the days when I prayed for more veggies and fruits at Trader Joe's, and soon they started appearing.  Then I had to pray for lemons because somehow they left them off their wish-fulfillment list, so I had to pray extra hard, and they came. 

Well, it's been a while, and I'll admit I wasn't praying quite as hard as my lemon vigil, only because I literally use a lemon a day, but I have been consistently praying to the veggie Gods to provide me with popcorn so I wouldn't have to stop at another store on nights like tonight when I had a craving.

Well, tonight, on the "New Items" shelf at Trader Joe's, 'lo and behold, was organic yellow popcorn.  I came home immediately and put it in the air popper and boy did those kernels pop up so big and fluffy!   Then I drizzled about a tablespoon of melted butter all over it, salted it up, and voila....DINNER!  Seriously, this was one inspired dinner.

Now, can we go back to my previous lemon prayers?  I can't say enough about how Lazy lemons are...here are just a few ways I suggest you seize the lemon day:

• Lemon Water -- If you are trying to kick a soda habit, start with Perrier/Soda Water/Calistoga and add fresh lemon, fresh orange, or a splash of your favorite juice.  Or, if you just can't bear drinking all the water you should be drinking during your day, sometimes this is just the little kick you'll need to make the transition.  Whatever you have to do to drink more water -- DO IT!  It is the key to great digestion and lovely skin.  I promise you this.
• Most Healthy Salad Dressing in History of Mankind -- Simple: fresh lemon juice and olive oil.  You'll find your own personal taste balance, but you gotta know both of these ingredients are very good for you for many reasons, too long to list here.  And, you will be literally blown away by how the flavors of all the veggies pop, including the most simple of greens (arugula, for instance, really shines under the glistening mixture).
• Roasted Veggies/Sauteed Veggies - I learned this trick in Italy.  There is nothing like roasted potatoes drizzled with fresh lemon juice.  Also, there is literally nothing like fresh spinach lightly sauteed in olive oil, or roasted veggies of literally any kind (oh my god roasted broccoli!) with a squeeze of lemon.

Buon Lemon & Popcorn Appetito! 

Trader Joe's Tuesday: Lazy Deliciousness to Start the Day!

This is my new favorite breakfast that is Weight Watchers friendly.  It's crunchy, it's creamy, it's sweet, it's savory.  It's all that is good in life all wrapped into one.

• Two pieces of Sprouted RYE Bread  -- any sprouted bread would be good but rye adds the savory kick that makes this such a balanced treat = 4 points
• 1/4 of the Creamy Goat Cheese -- you can even do 1/2.  The 1/4 serving is 1 point and 1/2 is 2 points.
• A couple teaspoons of the Superfruit All Fruit Spread = 0 points

Toast the bread.  Spread on the goat cheese.  Then on top of that spread the Superfruit!

So for 5 or 6 points you will have a wonderfully balanced, delicious and FILLING breakfast.

Buon Weight Watchers Appetito!  And, anyone else -- it's just good and good for you!  You don't have to be watching your weight to enjoy it, that's for sure!

Lazy Home Improvement: I LOVE SPRAY PAINT

I got this table and chairs about a year ago.  They were rusty and dirty and somehow when I looked at them the whole deal just looked like a lot of work.  I finally said "This is NOT Lazy!"  Procrastination can be lazy, but if every time you look at the thing you are procrastinating about you feel icky, then that's just not Lazy.  Less stress and more joy is the goal!

So, this weekend I got the spray paint.  There were too options -- one limey, one appley.  The limey one looked truer to the original color so I chose it.  I came home, sanded and cleaned it -- in no time!  What I thought would take hours, took less than one hour all tolled!  Then I painted it which took about 25 minutes.  I did it while I talked to my friend Fran on the phone.  That's how stress-free it was.  And, I did an excellent job.

The only problem was that when it was all done, the color was blindingly neonly bright.  So, on Sunday I went back to get the appley color and repainted it -- all 5 chairs plus the table seriously in about 15 or 20 minutes!   I loooooooooooooooove spray paint.

Now this table is good and painted and coated to prevent rust!

And, I am officially addicted to spray painting because the transformation is so satisfying.  It's like it's reflecting the transformation that is happening inside me.  Very exciting. 

So, next project is my antique metal kitchen work table.  I'm going to get the paint tonight.  Yipppeeee!

Some addictions serve the world...in this case, the world of home improvement.

Lazy Vacation: Rumi's Guest House

I am in love with this poem and have grown accustomed to reading it every day since Debbie Ford gave it to us in the Shadow Process Workshop last weekend.  I love thinking of joy, depression, meanness, jealousy, sadness, anger and each and every other feeling as a GUEST...


The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture, still,
treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Rumi, translation by Coleman Barks

Lazy Weight Loss Full Court Press is Slam Dunk

I have always been an "all out" kind o' girl.  I just got that the reason I'm losing weight so easily right now is that I am doing an "all out" kind o' plan.  It's the Full Court Press mentality that is working for me.  That way, if one of my moves/techniques/shots doesn't work one day, I've got a lot of other moves/techniques/shots to pick up the slack.

Some people aren't all out/Full Court Press.  Everyone has their own way.  Some people need to ease into a plan.  I saw someone tweet yesterday that she is just cutting out sodas to start her plan.  After that she's going to start walking.  She knows herself.  She knows what she needs.  If you don't help yourself feel nurtured during the process, you just can't expect to stay on your plan.  You need to figure out for yourself how you need to do it, and then come up with a plan, and start.  You can even give yourself dates/deadlines -- if that works for you.  March: Quit Soda; By April 15th: Join Gym and start workout; by May 15th: start meditating, etc.

My Full Court Press Weight Loss Plan is three-fold:  body, mind, and spirit.   I actually feel confident saying that if I don't address all three of these elements, I will not succeed.  That's me.  I always work out and have since I was a young teenager.  Not an issue for me.  But, the food going in, that's an issue.  I've also been working on the issues behind the weight since I was in my early 20's, and made some progress but it came back.  So, for me, the Full Court Press is:

1.  Exercise -- creative new options to change it up for my body, so I start HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) as a new ingredient in my work out recipe.
2.  Eating -- My deal is not binging or late night eating.  My deal is just a little bit too much food at each meal, eating to fullness, etc.   So, Weight Watchers is the plan that works for me, causing me to stay conscious of what goes in my mouth all day long!
3.  Sugar/Salt Cravings -- These are usually based on emotion.  Sugar was sometimes an after dinner habitual craving, but largely I would crave sugar, salty/crunchy things when I was angry or sad.  So far I can say that the Shadow Process Workshop I did last weekend has brought those cravings to a firm halt because I am now so much more at peace and dealing with my emotions in a much more even-keeled, healthy way.  I am more comfortable and at ease in my heart.
4.  Mind & Spirit -- Marianne Williamson's "Course in Weight Loss" playing over and over and over in my car was a godsend.  Her meditation CDs also a godsend.  Debbie Ford's Workshop was an enormous godsend.  Over the last couple of months embracing both of these fine women's wisdom has proven a coup in terms of mending mind, spirit, and bridging the gap I had between the two. 
5.  Gratitude/Acknowledgment -- These two practices I have done on and off over the years but now thanks to both Debbie and Marianne, I have an active daily practice. I can't tell you how these two practices have added to the peace and joy in my life.  I start my day with gratitude, listing all I am grateful for -- from my comfy bed to the fresh flowers around the house.  I end my day acknowledging myself for everything I did -- from doing the load of laundry I didn't want to do to giving my dogs an extra love walk, from the tiniest to the most significant thing. 

The bottom line for me is that when I am peaceful in my soul, I do not want to overeat.  I do not crave foods that make me high or jittery or off-kilter or fat.   I love the taste of red wine and while at dinner the other night wanted the flavor of the wine, but realized I had no interest in numbing myself at all.  I already was relaxed so I didn't "need" it to relax me.  So, I chose to have water. 

I'm not saying I won't have sugar or alcohol once in a while, but I am getting very accustomed to the wonderful freedom that comes from not needing them as a "fix" of my uncomfortability.

So, for me LAZY weight loss = full court press.  We all need to find our Lazy Way -- aka the way of less stress and more joy.

The Ever Shrinking Lazy Woman

I am down 11.2 pounds which is the idyllic 1.5 pounds/week loss.  I am very excited.  And, realizing I want to move my goal weight down a couple more points, so want to lose 8 more pounds and see how I feel, reassess, etc.

One of the other delightful things that happened at the Shadow Process Workshop this weekend was my sugar cravings ended.  We weren't allowed ANY sugar...or coffee (which was possibly harder) -- and I literally do not have the daily sugar cravings I used to have.  In the afternoon and after dinner -- the two times that I would find myself in search of all things chocolate -- I crave fruit or tea.  I know it sounds insane but it's true.  It's because the anger and anxiety that drove the cravings are delightfully peacably quelled.

The other embarassing -- really super embarassing -- craving that I no longer have was for an addiction that I kept largely hidden:  Diet Coke.  It started a few weeks into Weight Watchers when the fact that it was 0 points, i.e., free.  I spent my teen years and early 20's addicted to Tab.  I dropped that and probably 5 or 6 times in my life since I picked up Diet Coke to just have a "treat" that wouldn't cost me anything.   I really love the flavor.  But mostly in my adult life, if I wanted a soda, I would have the real thing: a Coke with sugar, i.e., seemingly less toxins.

All this, even though I know that it is literally like drinking liquid chemicals, that it makes me feel wacky and crazy inside and out, and I really have an inkling that it actually hinders my body from losing weight, has me hold on to weight.

And, I love water.   I drink water all day long -- unless I'm drinking Diet Coke.  And, my skin suffers madly.  When I drink my yummy water all day long my skin and digestion are literally perfection.  Why would I want to look and feel worse?  Cause it makes me high!

So, I'm really happy to not have that "high" in my life anymore, happy to be blissfully back in the arms of H20, and definitely delighted to be as peaceful as I am, no longer needing to alter my emotional state.

Peace peace peace.  Yummy peace.

Lazy Transformation aka the Road to Less Stress & More Joy

Since beautiful Tara commented on the last post because she resonated with what the Shadow Process with Debbie Ford gave me this weekend, I wanted to post an amazing offer that one of Debbie Ford's coaches has for everyone. 

First, I highly recommend reading Debbie's books.  If you are going through a divorce, I have heard over and over for many years about her book "The Spiritual Divorce."  And if you are interested in the shadow process she has a few amazing books, including "The Shadow Effect" which just came out.  But you'll see...just check out her website: debbieford.com.

And, if you find you resonate with the work and want to delve in deeper, I highly recommend the Shadow Process Workshop.  Find one, do one, be free!

And.....if you can't get to the Workshop and/or you want to make a leap into the work sooner and get your life jump-started, my amazing brilliant friend Fran Fusco is now an Integrative Coach for Debbie Ford.  Ever since I met Fran in 1985, I have said she is one of the most compassionate people I have ever met.  She is extraordinarily brilliant with a huge open heart --- a combo you don't often find in people.  She is rare and is an extraordinary coach.  She is offering one free session of coaching to show you what the coaching process can offer people and introduce them to the work.  Here is a link to her bio and contact info:  http://www.thefordinstitute.com/Fran_Fusco_s/325.htm

And, if you are outside the U.S., there are coaches all around the world!!!! From Dubai to Denmark to the Dominican Republic!!!

Happy Lazy Transformation to All!

So Lazy I Followed the Speed Limit and Ate My Words!

I had the honor and privilege of taking a life-transforming workshop this weekend: The Shadow Process with Debbie Ford.  It's a little Landmark (which I have done for several years), a handful of Jungian psychology, and a big fat smidge of spirituality all rolled into one weekend where you literally get to unload years of crap.  I can honestly say I look younger today.

We were asked to be in silence for the three days -- no cellphones, no computers, no texting -- and silence when we were not in an exercise where we talked.  That means we had silence in every meal.  Have you ever eaten with over 120 people in a big ballroom in silence.  All you hear is clinking silverware. I wish in retrospect I had taped some of the clinking because it was so cool. 

Eating in silence is incredible.  I ate a lot slower, as you'd imagine.  I enjoyed my food much more, as you'd probably also imagine.  And, I just really enjoyed not "eating my words."  And that means I didn't eat my emotions either.  You know how eating out is such a fun past time with friends -- food, drink, laughter and chatter.  And it is literally one of my favorite things to do.   I love throwing dinner parties and I love going out with friends too -- in that order.  "Breaking bread" is good stuff. But, man, sometimes I end up overeating and eating my words and emotions --- swallowing far more than nutrients.  

I loved that this retreat was silent because in most transformational work I've done, during the breaks people let go of all the chatter that's been in their heads during the workshop -- judgments, tales of dis-ease with the process, complaints about how they are feeling or others are making them feel, etc.  Instead Debbie asked us to just do our own process and not engage with anyone -- ever!  "Free to just be you and me" as Marlo Thomas would say.

I got so many things out of this Workshop but I will say that one of the most extraordinary things is that I feel like I do when I would go to live in the ashram in India for a month of meditation, chanting and seva.  I feel so peaceful.

The 24 hours before I left town for a business trip and the retreat I was breaking something every couple hours.  I was literally completely off balance.  I feel unbelievably balanced, in my skin and at peace.  And, here is some proof.  I live in a tiny town that has no stop lights, only stop signs.  It's a sleepy little town.  And, the speed limit through most of town is equally sleepy.  My entire time living here I don't think I have ever followed the 25 mph speed limit in town.  I found it unbearable, stupid, and truly unreasonable and unrealistic.  Today I followed it, and I was more than happy to follow it and take my sleepy time.

Now, that, my friends, is transformation.

Lazy Transformation

I am very excited.  The Shadow Process Workshop with Debbie Ford starts on Friday.  And, you know how it is with these things, once you register you have started.  So, this has been working on me since December, flipping life upside down and inside out.

I can't wait...Many stories to come next week.

I'm also STEEPED in listening to Marianne Williamson's "A Course in Weight Loss" which I have running in the car, which is just fertilizing the ground.  

The most inspiring thought of the day was that our parents are "containers" of our emotions when we are children, and if they didn't model how to "contain" our own emotions, then we have trouble doing that when we grow up.  

I can't believe that this simple thought was so eye opening for me.  I still to this day of my 48th year bristle when I have uncomfortable feelings.  I feel like I can't contain them actually....still!  Shocking!  I'm looking forward to the challenge of containing them ....all by my lonesome. 

Marianne talks about her teenage daughter losing a friend who very tragically committed suicide, and she said "Sometimes the worst possible thing you can actually think of ...happens."  And, she gave her daughter all the permission in the world to fully experience her grief, and gave her the power to contain these emotions, i.e., let them just flow through her.

This is a key to weight loss for me.  When I get stressed I want sugar and/or salt.  I need to just be stressed...or sad or angry and contain these feelings with no judgment, and no need to push them down with food.

Here's to Lazy Transformation, i.e., with the support and love of the likes of Marianne Williamson and Debbie Ford.

Weight Loss Inspiration: Trina Turk Dress

[Post-posting edit...just made this up...Treatspiration...when it's a treat that not only rewards you but also inspires you to lose more.  Treatspiration = Trina Turk in this scenario! LOL!]

I think it was the first week of this losing-my-grieving-my-father-passing-weight-gain weight loss journey that I found myself at Nordstrom Rack in front of the most incredibly cute Trina Turk dress.  And, not being able to pass up a deal, I sneaked a peek at the price tag and was jaw-droppingly shocked that it read $19.97.  What?

Then I checked out the size -- size 4.  Now at that moment I was a 10.  But, I looked at the dress and decided that it was actually much more like a 6 for most other lines of clothing.  A 6 is what I will be at my goal weight. 

It has a zipper on the side.  So, I put it on over my head and pulled it down over my body.  I didn't expect the zipper to close at that moment, but I wanted to see how far away I was from closing it.  Pretty far that first day.

But, each week I try it on -- even the weeks where the scale isn't matching up what I see are major changes in my body.  Like this week the scale only showed a .2 lb. loss but this was a week where my body really shifted and kind of settled into reflecting major changes in my tummy fat particularly.  So, I know the .2 isn't real. And the proof was in the Trina Turk!   I am definitely within a few weeks of closing this zipper.  My birthday is 3/22 and my goal is to be able to wear it on my birthday.  

It looks cuter and cuter on me each week.  This week my collar bones are finally visible for instance.  With a nice deep v-neckline that looks a lot nicer than it did 5 weeks ago.

I love trying on the dress every week.  I really do.  You'd think it might be depressing but it's not at all.  It's inspiring.   It was the best $19.97 I ever spent.

Takin' Care o' Business

The Marianne Williamson book on tape I'm listening to, "A Course in Weight Loss," is really working on me.  And, transforming my body is working on me.  It's making me want everything to work better. So, I'm starting to make things WORK!  Or should I say I am now open to lots of possibilities of things working better.  I think some of the pounds coming off were blocks, ounces of barriers...just dropping off.

First opening: I can see!  I can see!  It's a whole new world having a perfect prescription.   I actually thought that I wouldn't be able to get a prescription since the last one was so incredibly off.  I feel like I've had a medical miracle.  But, what I had was a great optometrist finally!  I love him.  If you are in LA and looking for a great one -- Dr. Vipapan on Lake Avenue is yo' man!

How did I find him?  YELP!  Thank you Yelpers for that recommendation.

I also thought it might be impossible to get the haircut that I wanted, but in fact I got better than the haircut I wanted.  Her name is Amy Edwards, daughter of the famed stylist Allen Edwards.  She works in Beverly Hills and Studio City. 

How did I find her? My friend Liz who literally time after time has had the most artistic haircuts.  Each time I see her it's something different and each time I think "Now THAT is my favorite haircut!"...Truly Amy is an artist.  She works with your face shape, coloring, best features, worst features, etc. and makes your hair just lift it all up and make you as purdy as possible.

So, I am continuing to be open to possibilities, and letting the barriers continue to fall, fall, fall...