You didn't get a "Trader Joe's Tuesday" last week because my computer crashed....I got it back Friday and discovered that everything -- yes, every little thing that was related to my dad - his business that I am running from afar, his estate, his memorial -- is gone. The hard drive had bad sectors, and apparently the little sector that my dad's folder was sitting in went "poof." I had a 45 minute pity party, with heart palpitations and tears. I had never had the heart palpitations before! But, in those 45 minutes I heard him say over and over "You don't need it..." and "It's not important..."
My dad's memorial is this Saturday in Anchorage, Alaska. All my notes, the draft of the program, the RSVP list, etc. -- all of it is gone. I immediately started to freak about who I needed to reach out to, my to do list of people I needed to call or write. And, over and over again I hear him say "The right people know."
Last night, Aaron and I set to going through my dad's art, getting things together to send out to family members as little gifts from my dad. We found a few pieces by an artist Thor Brandt-Erickson. I have two pieces of his on my walls that my dad gave me. I thought, "Oh my gosh I don't think his wife knows about the memorial...." I didn't remember seeing her name on any list. I was so upset by all the lost info again, and, again, my dad replied "All the right people know..." And, I calmed down yet again!
Just a few minutes ago, a confirmation that all really is well and perfect came in via email. I received a letter from Thor's widow, Nancy. She had seen the announcement in yesterday's paper. She can't come to the memorial because her grandson is graduating from high school, but she sent a beautiful letter I will have Aaron read at the memorial.
I was literally freaking out that she didn't know about the memorial, and she got the word. She was lead to the paper on the perfect day. And, to add a special nod of confirmation that everything is perfect, she noted that her husband Thor had died on May 22, 2008 --- exactly two years to the day of the Memorial this Saturday.
It's all perfect. Sometimes the perfection is hard to see through the trees and tears, but it's all perfect.