I was on the road last week so blogging came to a screeching halt, and last night I was all wonky because I was dealing with my dad again. He's had a series of strokes over the last few months. He had to go to the hospital yet again last night because he very likely had another small stroke yesterday.
My dad lives in Alaska so it's just all that much more stressful dealing with things. For instance, last night I had to get on the phone with him and convince him that he needed to go to the hospital, that my uncle (who is committed to being there as his primary caretaker until he dies), and the two lovely gentlemen -- aka medics -- who were there helping him were correct when they suggested he needed to get to the hospital. My dad listened to my pleas patiently, and I could feel the three sets of eyes staring at the phone while he listened, as they hoped my words would calm him and allow them to transport him. After I plead, my dad said "Well, I'll take it under advisement" in his inimitable way, with a little twist of wit.
The good news is it worked. The bad news is that this last several months has been a series of incidents and conversations like this, and I have to say in large part I haven't been profoundly lazy about this process. The death process isn't only a death process for the person dying, of course, and I'm not pulling my weight here. I get way too stressed when I see my uncle's number or my dad's home line calling my phone. It's affecting many levels of my life as all big life challenges do.
My only secret weapon is my boyfriend, who consistently offers three major Lazy Man ingredients to my life: 1) he listens and offers comforting, grounding advice, 2) he makes me laugh and see the humor in the situation (and always points out that my dad's spirit and humor) and 3) he distracts me when there is nothing more to be done, said or considered.
The luckiest of Lazy Women I'm realizing are the ones who have a good Lazy Man behind them. I never had one until now, but I was lucky enough to have always been surrounded by a huge lot of lovely Lazy Women who took up the slack and supported me exquisitely. I am just particularly grateful to have a good Lazy Man in my life right now during this difficult time.
Trader Joe's Tuesday will return next Tuesday! Wooo hooo!