Are the stars being Lazy these days? Or perhaps there is a glitch in the Southern California water filtration system, because I now have THREE -- not one, not two, but THREE couples that are starting on the road to divorce. In all three cases one party is simply "done" with the relationship, and I'm looking back at each of my failed relationships and in every single case, one of us just simply got to a place of "done" where there was no chance of being un-done. It just takes the one person in the relationship, and usually one is pretty crystal clear about how finished they think the relationship is.
The trick, of course, is not getting to the "done" place. But as I sit perched so perkily atop my brand new relationship blossom that's so fresh and shiny, I am terrified that I won't see the signs of decay. I'd like to think I would, that I'm pretty aware, but in all of these cases, one or both of the people in these relationships were either what I would consider more aware than I am, or just about at my level!
Every single day I make sure to tell him something I love about him, and regularly tell him how lucky I feel to have found him --- albeit so late in life!!! Actually, it's thank god so late in life because we probably would have been doomed had we met earlier. We've both been working on ourselves over these last several years in particular, and had we met when we both lived in NYC in our 20's (we lived two doors away from each other on 69th Street -- not the same years, but still our paths were consistently crossing) we probably wouldn't have given each other a second look.
But, what happens on the days where I don't feel as lucky or happy? I think the answer is somewhere between 1) letting go, letting go, and more letting go and 2) "generating" lucky and happy from the place deep inside where it started....like a little Energizer bunny beating the love drum and putting on the cool glasses and the happy smile ... no matter what the circumstances.
That last suggestion of being an Energizer Love Bunny may not sound Lazy but LOVE is always the Lazy alternative -- anger, resentment, frustration all take so much more energy, they suck you dry. Love makes everyone feel better. It's a Lazy Fact.