Thursday, May 14, 2009

Lazy Health Scare Cured by Acupuncture

It's all good now but I had the most bizarre health scare this week. I had a cold, which brought a bunch of head congestion. Nothing too annoying, no sinus pain even, no ear pain, just a bad cold. Then on Tuesday when I was writing all of a sudden I felt dizzy, just sitting in bed typing. The room started spinning for no gosh darn good reason.

So, I did the stupidest thing I could do: I stood up. What's that instinct about? I think I must have felt like the bed was causing the problem and my instinct was to get out of it! Hilarious and stupid, because of course immediately I started falling. I grabbed the phone and started to call 911 and just then I caught myself and the symptoms started subsiding. I hung up and called my dad instead. He had had a stroke a couple years ago and had described the start of the stroke exactly as what I had just experienced. He told me to take an aspirin and talked me down from the fear. Later I was diagnosed with "benign positional vertigo" which was all due to my silly cold.

I was told to take some things, but after a couple of days it wasn't getting better. So, I was delighted that my first appointment with my new acupuncturist was synchronistically scheduled for Day 3 of my vertigo. I've been to many acupuncturists since I was a kid, but Marsha Connor was the most amazing I've ever experienced. She has this air about her that is the perfect combination of sweet, gentle mother earth and scientist. And, she's hilariously funny. I'll admit, I started it, but she was right there with me the whole way, culminating in the moment she came back in the room to take the needles out: "Are you still here?" The laughter gave the needles one final jiggle and voila I was done.

I had two very bad episodes within two hours of the treatment (which is actually typical in my experience with acupuncture) and was gone. Completely and utterly gone. Now, come on, that is one Lazy Cure!

Years ago I had the pleasure of falling off a horse in the middle of a friend's 10,000 acre ranch. I dislocated my elbow about six inches out of its socket. It took over 10 hours to get to a hospital that could set it straight again. When they brought me to and told me it was done, the circle of awestruck doctors around my bed (it was one of the worst dislocations they had seen) said that my arm would never be the same again. I'd never have full use of the arm, and I might need surgery.

I flew back to LA and checked in right away with the orthopedic surgeon per the hospital's instructions. He concurred with the hospital doctors' dim outlook. From there I went straight to the acupuncturist who within weeks had my arm as good as new. I went back just to show it off to the surgeon and he was blown away, and slightly hostile to boot! La di da, la di da!

I'll never get used to or bored with acupuncture miracles. Acupuncture was clearly invented by one very Lazy Woman or Man...thank God!

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