Friday, May 15, 2009

Lazy Love v. Unlazy Fear

I'm trying to figure out how I can turn talking about the new love in my life into a Lazy Woman tip. Hmmmmmmm..... I know. It's a tip I learned from him. So, it's a Lazy Man Tip on the Lazy Woman blog for something new and different.

He pointed out this little tendency I have -- that I know I have and that my friends know I have -- to expect negative things to happen. When I start falling in love I am always waiting for the proverbial other love shoe to drop, looking for trouble. He just keeps patiently pointing out that it's just my FEAR running the show in those moments.

I have been contemplating how darned un-lazy fear is. It takes up time and energy, makes you feel like crap, and worst of all it leaks. It leaks into conversations, rooms, events, and it tends to spread like wild fire. Luckily I have a little fire tender who is following me around with a bucket of water, dousing the sparks before they ignite into anything bigger.

When we were having a very simple, quiet moment he said "Remember this..." I, of course, assumed he was breaking up with me right then and there! LOL! "Remember this...when you are afraid." He's right. And, that is a tool I can actually use when I dip into fear.

Years ago when I was going through a tough time -- a breakup, of course (due to fear most likely!) -- I had someone tell me to imagine a STOP sign every time I wanted to go into those dark, yearning thoughts. That too was helpful. This one, though, is much more fun, to think of a loving moment.

The bottom line is that fear is never real. It's never the present. It's never the truth. It's just thoughts, made up to appeal to the insecure mind and heart. He's right: I need to focus on what is real, and what I know is the truth.

So, the tip for myself today and for you, should you choose to accept it, is that the lazy way to deal with fear is to 1) snap out of the un-reality and 2) focus on what we know, the truth, the present.

Yippee! I got to talk about my love and give a Lazy Man/Woman tip too!

No comments:

Post a Comment