I am thrilled by my instincts at the end of this relationship. I am cleaning out the old, getting rid of the past that no longer serves me. Clothes that I haven't worn in ages, that don't fit, that I know I will never wear again -- it all goes! Everything that doesn't work -- it's out! Every closet, every corner of the garage, every cabinet.
I'm cleaning and clearing to invite new, vibrant, loving, beautiful energy --- and a man -- to come in. In clearing out the clutter, fluff and excess I am uncovering jewels of many sorts-- pieces of clothing that I adore that I forgot about (what a clear sign of having too much, eh?) -- and books like the Rumi book I re-found. Another gem of a book unveiled was one I read in the early 90's - Harville Hendrix's "Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples."
I know, I know, I'm not in a couple anymore, but man this is one bad ass book. I re-read half of it very quickly this weekend. It all started flooding back. I highly recommend it to anyone who has ever struggled in a relationship. And, honestly, who hasn't ever had a struggle, eh?
What I get from this book every time I read it is the reminder that I grow so much more as a person when I am in relationship. Relationships are the grains of sand to my pearl....polishing me, making me better, looking deeper, doing better, being better. Relationships are God's offering to us to heal more deeply than, well, just about anything else.
And, when both people are willing to look at their childhood wounds, they each have the most extraordinary opportunity to pour love on each other's wounds --yes, it stings, sometimes it hurts deeply, but in the end it is soothing, nurturing and heart-opening.
Harville quotes Jung who said it so eloquently: "Seldom or never does a marriage develop into an individual relationship smoothly without crisis. There is no birth of consciousness without pain." But on the other side of the pain is unbelievable freedom and the deepest, most fulfilling love.
The key is both people have to want to look at the cages the past has built to get to the freedom. Huge honkin' key.
So, I'm on the road to taking down the cages around my own heart, so I can draw that guy in who has taken down his cages.
It's a brave new world...sparkling with jewels.