Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Wo ho ho! I feel like a Woman! (thank you Shania Twain)

"Every death is a wake up call to live more fully, more presently right now."
Oprah Winfrey

Yet another synchronicity in my life.  Today, I felt like I took several steps back in my healing from the break-up with my boyfriend of two years.  The recurring theme of my day was "betrayal."  I remembered the gorgeous flower arrangement he sent to me whose card said very simply "Never doubt."  He always claimed he never wanted me to doubt his love, and that he had never had a single doubt that I was "the one" for him.  And, yet he was courting someone else when we were together.  The card maybe should have said "Always doubt me."  LOL!

I had a day littered with icky flashbacks to the time of the betrayal.  It was not a LAZY day.  Again, Lazy = less stress and more joy. 

But I just sad down to watch my taped Oprah from earlier today and lo' and behold it's an interview with Shania Twain who was betrayed by not only her husband, but her best friend.  That I don't actually understand surviving.  But, Oprah uttered the quote at the top of this post, and it's so true: every death -- and there is no doubt that the end of a relationship is a death -- is a WAKE-UP call to LIVE fully right now!

It's funny.  I always have live flowers all over the house, but since the break-up I have even more....three bouquets in my bedroom alone almost always, and literally every room has at least one bouquet.  Life! Life! Life my soul is shouting.

But, when I slip into the past and run the old tapes with new revelations about lies that were said, I go back into the Death Zone.  That doesn't feel good.  And, honestly, my LIFE cannot afford it.  Back to the flowers, back to the love I do have in my life, back to POSSIBILITIES, back to the new body I've created for myself, back to the PRESENT.

The new anthem ringing in my head after the Oprah episode is Shania's breathtaking...

"I feeeeeeeeeeeeel like a WOOOOOOMAN!  Wo ho ho!!!!"

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